Surviving Fresher's...

So I’m sat in my bed on 23rd September – exactly a week since I moved into my halls at University. I survived fresher’s week – probably the most hyped up and fabricated week of your whole University experience. Throughout fresher’s there is this tremendous amount of pressure to be doing something at all times, to be meeting as many people as you can and to be somehow forming close friendships with these new people you have literally only just met.

For me, I went to University with not a lot of worries; I’ve never had issues making friends and I wasn’t overly bothered for going out every night so I thought I would be pretty content being on my own and doing things independently. However, this week has probably been one of the hardest most challenging times for me as I’m sure it has been for many others too. I almost feel naïve because I really didn’t see myself as the type of person to be home sick; this whole summer I have been impatiently waiting to get to University, to be in a completely new and exciting place and to embark on a course that I have always wanted to do. When it’s put like that whole University experience seems easy, practically effortless but the uprooting of your life to a new scary place can actually be really unsettling, frightening and emotionally draining.

For someone who is very confident and self-assured it truly has thrown me to find myself sat in my room alone, trying to hold the tears back with absolutely no desire to socialise. It’s really hard to deal with struggles like this that make you question yourself, your personality and all your reasons for wanting to even go to University in the first place.

I would like to address the fact that I believe there is a huge stigma around your University experience as being the most enriching, fulfilling and exciting time of your life. Of course for some people and at times for everybody they will agree with this but in reality, the process of you settling into your new home at University is something which demands a lot from you as a person emotionally, mentally and physically. Over the last week (I know this is a very short amount of time) I have already grown as a person and realised a lot about myself. These lessons over the past week have really made me realise that completing a degree is about way more than just doing the work or the extra reading or maybe work placements you’ll complete. The personal struggles and battles you will overcome throughout your whole time at University are crucial in your development as a person and your progression to adulthood. Now looking at this in hindsight, I have the upmost respect for anyone who’s completed a degree moving away from home or even staying close to home as well.

This week I will begin my first week of lectures and getting back into a routine and I think slowly I am coming to terms with this huge lifestyle change, that before I arrived I perceived as very minor… Due to struggling to socialise or to feel settled over the last week I thought I would just talk about some of the tips that have helped me to feel better or to look at the situation more positively.

TIPS…

- BE OPEN! I am definitely guilty of not being as open minded as I can but it’s something I am trying hard to work on. As we get older and develop our own personality traits it’s very easy to assume you will only get along with people you identify with or perceive as being similar to you. However, this is not always the case. Someone may not have the same music taste or fashion style to you but they may be the funniest person you have ever met with exact same humour as you. I’d say this is probably the most important thing at University when it comes to meeting people, if you aren’t open minded then you will most likely be disappointed. Keep an open mind and I’m sure you will be surprised at who you click with.

- Similarly to being open, it is also good to remember that the friends you will make at University will never be the same as your ones at home. You may be searching for a friend who’s almost a carbon copy of your best friend back at home but this doesn’t work! You have got to embrace the chance to find new people and to explore new things about yourself. Additionally, there is never a cut off point for making friends, even though it may feel like after fresher’s week if you don’t have a best friend or a nice group to people to be with that you’re going to be lonely forever, this is not true. Everyone is in the same position and you can never have enough friends, especially when you’re at University.

- Be sociable. Probably, easier said than done. I don’t necessarily mean going out every night, I mean talking to everyone and anyone. Saying hi to someone in the corridor or someone you recognise from one of your classes or in your halls. Make the effort! Joining clubs/societies is also a really easy way to make more friends and to be social instead of sitting in your room alone. Grasping all the opportunities your University can offer you will not only ease the process of making friends but will also help to enrich your whole time there.

- Now this one is a bit cringey but it’s really important to remember to stay strong. There will definitely be times when you really hate everything and everyone and cannot think for one reason why you put yourself through this emotional trauma… BUT remember why, make a list of the reasons why you chose to move and reinforce them in your mind until you believe it. Also, keep in mind that you do have options; there is nothing worse than hating something and feeling trapped. So remember you do have options to change courses, universities or your living circumstances if it really is making you unhappy.

- Lastly, talking to someone about your problems can be one of the most relieving things to do if you’re struggling. Just over the past week just by opening up to people I’ve met about feeling home sick it’s surprising how many people agree and say they’re finding it really hard too which is especially consoling to hear when you feel like you’re the only one having a hard time.

So to anyone who maybe having a hard time this week, remember you are not alone!!!

Anna x